when strivings cease

Something that the Lord has really brought to light in my own life recently is the presence of idols. There's a song called "Clear the Stage" by Ross King that says it all perfectly and I encourage you to listen to it. There's a lyric that says, "Anything that I put before my God is an idol and anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol and anything I want with all my heart is an idol." I am extremely guilty of this. GPA, class rank, and running were my entire life up until two years ago. I spent every bit of my energy pouring into all of those things. If I wasn't studying, I was training for the next meet. I ran so much that I developed stress fractures in my shins & the doctor told me, "You have to take a break." He forced me to take 3 months off. I was so miserable and I knew it. I would wake up at 4:30 am and study for hours before I even went to school. I remember opening my Bible and reading how many times the word "rejoice" was mentioned in Psalms and knowing that I wasn't joyful. I would pray, "Lord, I know you don't desire for my life to be like this but I can't let go of any of it." I worshiped my own ability not recognizing that God can take my life at any second if He chooses. When I finally let go of those things, I saw how worthless they were. There's a hymn that I love that says, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace." Now I look back on how I was hanging by a thread for all those years and what was it for? Those things brought me farther from God instead of deeper in my walk. The question I ask myself often is "Am I trusting God's will?" As a teenager, I watch people throw their whole lives into relationships or talents and lose themselves completely. I did that and wasted a lot of time that I won't ever get back. I had tunnel vision about everything and I didn't have any joy. Thankfully, the Lord revealed that to me and put all of my striving to an end. Now I have such a peace in my walk with the Lord. God doesn't love me any more or less if I have talents or intelligence. It was like I would take my abilities and polish them and hand them to the Lord like, "See? I did this!" and expect Him to be glorified. God is only pleased when our whole lives are for Him not just sections.